Bill Ritter and Mark Udall have expressed interest in ass judging this summer. We kid you not.
We'd bet that Gary Hart, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton will also have an interest in judging this contest, given their history and interests.
A warning to Ted: It will be much harder to escape from a car that you drive into the Colorado river, so try to stay sober here. If you can't stay sober, try to drive alone.
And for Gary: We understand that Monkey Business III is moored at Dillon reservoir. Bring your own babe, but you knew that. Thank Mark Udall and the Sierra Club for the beautiful and romantic brown pine trees surrounding that lake.
Bill: Hillary won't much appreciate you issuing Presidential knee pads while she is giving her acceptance speech, though she might be too busy to notice. If you ignore this advice, just don't give her a standing ovation. Please! If you do give her a standing ovation while being compromised, you needn't worry about being charged as a sex offender. Bill Ritter will be quite willing to see that it is plea bargained down to agricultural trespass so that Hillary can let you stay in the White House without the need to notify the neighbors.